Mapping Out My Personal Mythology

"I would never want to belong to any club that would have someone like me for a member."

-Woody Allen

One of the most important steps in my own development came when I was able to break free of fear and conformity, and give myself the right to question my Christian upbringing. It has, of course, been an avalanche of change since then. First was my realization that all of those old, magical stories like The Garden of Eden and Noah’s Ark didn’t really hold up as “true” or "historical" stories, as I had been instructed to read them. And soon after came other realizations, like the observation that people’s religious convictions are simply a matter of where they are born. A staunch fundamentalist Christian American would have the same unwavering faith in Islam or Hinduism if they were born in another part of the world. And eventually, I came to realize that my idea of a perfect and pure higher power (or energy or God or whatever you want to call it) in no way resembles the God described in the bible. I mean, what kind of almighty higher being is just sitting  around one day and says to himself: “I've got it! I think I just figured out how to cure my boredom. I’m going to create a race of imperfect creatures that have all of these destructive drives and impulses and then I’m going to send them orders not to follow those drives via two stone tablets. And to make things really entertaining, I’m going to create 1000s of different religions so that my creations  will each call me a different name and kill one another for it. And then I'll send my son down to the Middle East and see if anyone will believe him when he says he’s the son of God. And here's where it gets really good. If they don’t believe him, I’m going to send them to the fiery pits of hell for all eternity. Brilliant, if I don't say so myself.” I could go on and on, but frankly poking fun at the bible is just too easy. And besides, all of my little intellectual arguments are beside the point. The important thing is that, while the bible has been somewhat interesting and useful to me as a metaphor, it is only one small (and deeply flawed) part of this vast and complicated human engagement with the universe that has taken place since we've first been able to think abstractly about our existence. As a result, being a "Christian," or becoming a member of any other specific religion for that matter, has absolutely no use for me spiritually.

And yet, I’ve at times been so focused on my opposition to Christianity, that I haven't always taken the time to identify what it is I DO believe. But I think this blog may offer me the perfect opportunity to better develop my own personal mythology. So, to start things off, I’m just going to give a quick rundown of some things that I would like to drive my spiritual development as an adult.

• The first guiding principle of my own spiritual beliefs is that I am adamantly against the notion of faith. If we could travel back in time and visit with early man, we would find that the originators of religion had no reason for faith. Their “religious beliefs” were the best explanations that they had at the time for their reality. It would have made complete sense to them that an invisible man was controlling the weather and that pleasing him through offerings and prayer was the best way to make it rain. Since that time we have learned a bit more about the complex science of meteorology and have discovered that praying to an invisible man has absolutely no impact on whether or not it rains. So, to continue to believe that an invisible man controls the weather in the present day would require “faith” in the face of actual observed facts. And what was once an adaptive belief that would have connected early man with the reality of his surroundings at the time, is today a maladaptive belief that requires a person to reject current knowledge and reality. So, in honor of the originators of religion, there will be no “faith” in my spirituality. My spiritual beliefs will jive with present-day science as well as my own experiences. And they will also be flexible to new information.
• I would also like to avoid categorizing my mythology. The only true path I see for myself involves avoiding all of the words that are out there...Buddhist, Christian, Zoroastrian, Scientologist. Even though my own beliefs may intermittently overlap with certain traditions, I want to stay committed to this notion of developing something unique and personal.
• I do not believe in worshipping other specific individuals, be they priests, gurus, or messiahs. Buddha, Jesus, Mohamad; I see them all as people who found spiritual paths that they were personally meaningful for them during their respective time periods. And a great many of their discoveries and practices are obviously still relevant and useful today. But, ultimately, I don't believe that these messianic figures should be viewed as anything special. We can all “talk to God," meaning we all have the capacity to become enlightened, and become closer and more connected to the truth of our world.
• I would like to develop and incorporate more rituals into my life; practices that can help me better connect to nature and my family and friends.
• I would like to learn more about other religions, not so much to practice them verbatim, but to learn what the connecting matter is between them all. I believe that it will be the similarities between religions that will guide me in discovering the truly important and essential aspects of human spirituality.
• I would also like to integrate those parts of Christianity into my identity that I really appreciate. For example, I have at times found strength in the story of Jesus on the cross, forgiving those around him even as they were crucifying him for having a different perspective. For a religion that has become so conformist, there is a surprisingly empowering message for non-conformists.
• Finally, my studies in psychology, social work, and biology have offered me calming, useful, and spiritual-like instruction on how to observe and understand other people. And yet, I still really struggle with accepting and understanding why people are intent on consuming/wasting resources and destroying the planet. In fact, I have developed a real anxiety about this. Sometimes I look at a forest and, instead of enjoying the view, can think only about the fact that all of those trees will eventually be chopped down to make way for more apartment buildings and McMansions. And this is not a healthy way to live. So I would actually like to develop a more peaceful understanding of the relationship between man and the environment, one that motivates me to work to protect the future of our planet, but not become consumed by anxiety regarding man's tendency to consume and destroy. How I can do this, I'm not quite sure, but I believe this is a necessary step in my spiritual evolution, one that will allow me to better enjoy our world and the present moment.

That's about it for now. As a first step towards jump-starting some of the development mentioned above, I'll be picking up a copy or Siddhartha by Hermann Hesse. Book review to come.